Tulare Advance-Register from Tulare, California • 12

Living A12 Tulare Advance-Register Weekend, Donna Griffin, Newsroom www.TulareAdvanceRegister.com January Fax Living 12-13, 688-0521 688-5580 Writer 2002 WEIMER TAKE A MINUTE Quiet people can have a big voice iding through the reR mote Virginia parts on of back West roads only the locals would know, Norma Gray gave me the history of the town and school where we were headed. We were traveling to all the counties in the state to train early childhood teachers. In one county, the people spoke with an old English accent, and outsiders were a rare occurrence. In another, cars were turned upside down lying by the riverbank and refrigerators were stuck in some of the trees because of a recent flood. I was having some rare experiences, but none more extraordinary than getting to know the lady I was traveling with.

There are remarkable people in the world, outstanding in their professions, who work to better the lives of others. They don't do it for attention, or because they want a pat on the back they do it because they love to contribute. What excites them is finding ways to give people hope, success, and meaning in their lives. Dr. Norma Gray, in Huntington, West Virginia, fits this description.

She has worked for over forty years, serving children and families of her state, and striving to raise the standard of literacy. She's such a quiet lady, you hardly notice she's in the room. But if she IS in the room, amazing things are going to happen. Norma told me that one of her first jobs was as a first grade teacher in a little country school in the hills. Her first graders had not been to preschool or kindergarten.

They could not recognize numbers or letters and answered questions with a shrug of the shoulders. Norma said in order to do an assessment of their abilities, she played a listening game with See QUIET, page Ax MILESTONES WEDDINGS Miller Richards A honeymoon trip to Disneyland completed the wedding celebration for Tennille Miller and Marz Richards, both of Valley Village, who were married on Oct. 2 28 in the back yard of the home of Brian and Sarah Dolan in Reseda. The theme of the wedding was "Heroes and Villains," where all guests, as well as the wedding party, were in costume. The ceremony was followed by a reception, where the bridegroom's band, "Renfield," performed.

The bride is the daughter of John and Danette Miller of Duarte. She graduated from Tulare Union High School in 1993, and from California State University, Long Beach, this year. She is an English teacher at Washington Prep High School for the Los Angeles Unified School District. The bridegroom is the son of Mona Wilson and Dick Setser of Bakersfield. He graduated from Foothill High School in Bakersfield in 1988 and from the UniverUPCOMING EVENTS Upcoming Events is a weekly feature compiled by Kathleen Goncalves.

Send your item to the Tulare Advance-Register, PO. Box 30, Tulare, CA 93275; or call 688- 0521. The deadline for items is 5 p.m. Wednesday for the following Saturday's edition. NEW ARRIVALS on page AX What By Laura A.

Maldonado Tulare Advance-Register Your first child was to be a sensitive pre-teen. Your second child was even total strangers. Your third was a ham, attention. Parents are often amazed their children behave their age and how much Tulare parent Rose the differences between daughter Julia and Nicholas. "At that age, he held," Light said of awake, he always wanted know if it's because she's ond one, but she sleeps crib looking at the Light also notices mother's support group still wants to play with he gets older and they tivities, he'll get a bit more She noted her son's tempting a task.

"My same way," she said. Of even her own bers her older sister and her mother having with other children. "My sister would run kids, but she couldn't get According to local psychologist and marriage apist Barry Sommer, ent personalities from can't be treated the same Dave and Rose Light the right approach in proaches to dealing with and Nicholas who at times "We have to be sensitive are and treat each child ent," Sommer said as he tute seminar on children's The setting was Tulare County Health vices Agency. The goal of the workshops effective discipline teachers, day care providers "to create a more positive create the best fit for communities and schools," forehand. "Is it biology or mines who we are?" ence asked raising the nurture vs.

nature. "We're parents and we we do makes a huge said. "And it does make a Sommer used the to demonstrate how much sity of Southern California in 1992. He is a lead singer and an actor, employed by Hollywood Bowl in Los Angeles. The maid of honor was Samantha Blake.

The bridesmaids were Michelle Asp, Carla Chavez, Shellie Garcia and Ann Nguyen. The best man was Adam Setser, brother of the groom. The groomsmen were Derrick Webster and Jeret Ochi, both brothers of the groom, and Eldon Asp. The couple is making their home in Valley Village. Maciel's Photography McCaskill Lampe A honeymoon trip to Nashville and Memphis, and New Orleans, completed the wedding celebration for Tammy McCaskill and Paul Lampe, both of Tulare, who were married on Dec.

22 at St. Aloysius Catholic Church. The Revs. Gregory Beaumont, Richard Urizalqui and John Griesbach officiated at the afternoon ceremony, I TODAY Breakfast: Tulare Community Church, 1820 North Gem a.m. Sponsored by Promise Keepers Men of Integrity.

Time of fellowship and Gods word. Every man invited. Breakfast held every second Saturday. Nick Hilvers, 627-5714; or Ernie Ruiz, 688-4356. Dinner-dance: Tulare Ea- makes colicky and has grown quiet and cooed at always grabbing at how different no matter what they look alike.

Light can already tell her 3-month-old 21-month-old son always wanted to be Nicholas. "If he was motion. I don't a girl or the seca lot better in the that even during a meeting, Nicholas her. She's hoping as take part in more acindependent. frustration after atmom says I was the siblings, Light remembeing more outgoing to coax her to play out to play with the me to." licensed educational and family therchildren have differthe get-go and just seem to be taking adjusting their apeasy-going Julia is more reserved.

to who our kids uniquely differled a Family Institemperament. Granite Room at the and Human Ser- is to offer more techniques for parents, and counselors experience and them in our homes, Sommer said be- environment that detersomeone in the a audiage-old question of like to think what difference," Sommer huge difference." "Marshmallow Study' biology does play one child sunny and TEMPER, TEMPER need more of his mom, Rose Light's ences are already starting to show, she a part, though. In this study, a group of 4-year-olds were given marshmallows and told if they could wait a minute before eating it, the test-conductor would be right back with another and they could have Children were taped behind two way mirrors so their reactions could monitored. While some children squirmed and looked away while waiting, or stared longingly at the white treat, others quickly gobbled it up as soon as the adult was gone. Those same 4-year-olds were studied as attention.

The children's personalities said. (to Blue LAS Laura A. Advance-Register As Julia Light, 3 months, is content to look about, Nicholas, 21 months, seems to they entered and went through The results were eye-opening. Those who could delay better adjusted, more well-liked peers, adventurous, confident able teens who averaged 210 on their SATs, the study states. Those who couldn't wait were to be lonely, easily frustrated as they entered high school.

more like to buckle under away from challenges. Since children are essentially Health and Human Services Agency The foundation of our future" and their identities" 9 a.m. to assault and molestation," 9-11 24; "Vulnerable but invincible: begin: Making the most of courses are free. Call Anita ville. She graduated from Porterville High School in 1997 and from California State University, Bakersfield, in 2001.

She is a pharmaceutical sales representative for Professional Detailing, in Upper Saddle River, N.J. The future bridegroom is the son of Matthew and Luan Sozinho of Tulare. He graduated from Tulare Western High School in 1995 and from California State University, Bakersfield, in 1999. He is a pharmaceutical sales representative for TAP Pharmaceutical in Lake Forest, Ill. The couple met in 1998, while attending California State University, Bakersfield.

Felipa Doudy Monica Esteves of Visalia and Joe Mendes of Hanford are planning a wedding for June 8. The future bride is the daughter of Tony and Dina Esteves of Visalia. She graduated from Tulare Union High School in 1999 and is currently attending College of the Sequoias in Visalia. She is a mailroom clerk at Agri Tech Analytics in Visalia. The future bridegroom is the son of Jose Mendes of San Jose and Lucy Mendes of Hanford.

He graduated from Hanford High School in 1996. He is a manager at River Ranch Dairy in Hanford. another silent? certain disposition, it's best to make the most of it with child-rearing techniques. After all, you're not going to be able to force an extremely shy child to want to star in school plays. In fact, Sommer points out, shy children are typically least understood.

"When they get consistent reassurance and a gentle push to take chances, that seems to help them be the most successful," he said of more reserved children. Not all shy children can be pushed to become leaders or performers and that's 1 not necessarily Sommer's goal. On the other hand, "If they're willing to approach a group in play or answer a question in class," are signs of overcoming shyness, Sommer said. Other children, on the other hand, need to be reigned in and taught self-control. One key in disciplining is to anticipate how children will react in certain situations and responding effectively.

"That doesn't mean that if we can change our reaction to them that we can change them." Shy children may be overwhelmed by an activity where there's too much stimulation a trip to Disneyland is an extreme example, but an overcrowded playground can be just as bad. Another consideration is labeling children. There's a difference between "loudmouthed" and "outspoken." "It's hard to change such behavior if they've heard such a label from someone they love." Sommer offers suggestions: For kids who've lost their cool, try modeling more appropriate responses, self-calming activities and offering choices. Limit transitions and stress through established routines and give kids cool off times and chances to burn off energy. Teaching manners and sincere apologizing skills is important, Sommer said.

Identify where things went wrong, ask for forgiveness and promise not to repeat it. differ- high school. gratification were by their and dependpoints higher more likely and stubborn They were also stress and shy Getting Involved Sign up for upcoming Tulare County stitute workshops. Among them are Jan. 10; "See Jane thrive: Adolescent "Keeping yours kids: safe from sexual "Guilt-free discipline," 9 a.m.

to noon children," 1-4 p.m. Jan. 30; "Let the play time," 9 a.m. to noon Feb. 21.

733-6123, Ext. 239 to register. ENGAGEMENTS Garcia Gomes Teresa Garcia and David Gomes, both of Tulare, are planning a wedding for May 11. The future bride is the daughter of Luis and Maria Lucilia Garcia of Tulare. She graduated from Tulare Western High School in 1996 and from Golden State Business College in March 1997.

She works in accounts receivable at Artesia Ready-Mix Concrete in Tulare. The future bridegroom is the son of Jose and Paulina Gomes of Tulare. He graduated from Tulare Western High School in 1995. He is a rental coordinator for Morris Levin and Son in Tulare. The couple met in September 1999 at a "festa" in Gustine.

Fahey Photography Dotters Sozinho Krista Dotters and David Sozinho, both of Bakersfield, are planning a wedding for Feb. 8. The future bride is the daughter of Andrew and Rhonda Dotters of Porter- born with a Family In9-11 a.m. noon Jan. 14; Jan.

15; Resilience in children's Baskovich, Moody children: Are serious and analytical Complain a lot I Display little pleasure in words and actions Are critical and negative Coping strategies Know mood is a major part of their temperament Be aware that it is not your fault Adjust expectations or demands that intensify their mood Teach good Source: From Dr. Barry Sommer's "Temperament: Is biology destainy?" flier which was followed by a reception held at Heritage Complex. The bride is the daughter of Juanita McCaskill of Tulare and W.L. McCaskill of Tulare. She graduated from Fresno State University in 1993 and from National University in 1994.

She is a teacher at Tipton Elementary School. The bridegroom is the son of Tom and Joan Lampe of Tulare. He graduated from Santa Clara University in 1993 and from Stanford University in 1994. He is a teacher for the Tulare City School District. The maid of honor was Debbie McCaskill, sister of the bride, Tulare.

The bridesmaids were Stevi McCaskill, niece of the bride, Tulare; Jane Pharis and Michelle Nuckols, both of Porterville; and Gloria Burris, Tipton. The best man was Fred Lampe, brother of the groom, Tulare. The groomsmen were Matthew Lampe, nephew of the groom, Tulare; Peter Lampe, Mukwonago, and Brian Lampe, Kirkland, both brothers of the groom; and Fred Weber, brother-in-law of the groom, Visalia. The ushers were Ron McCaskill, Fresno, and Steve McCaskill, Tipton, both brothers of the bride; Daniel Lampe, nephew of the groom, Tulare; and John Mutungi, Santa Clara. The couple is making their home in Tulare.

gle's Lodge, 1181 East Rankin 7 p.m. Rib-eye steak dinner and dance. Donation: $10. 687-8511. Bingo: Redskin Band Boosters, 240 East Kern Ave.

Doors open, 4:30 p.m.; speed games, 6 p.m.; early birds, 6:30 p.m. Every Saturday. First pack, $10; second, third, free. Susan Pinheiro, 688-1520. See EVENTS, page AX The couple met at a Portuguese youth group celebration in October 1998.

Maciel's Photography Pires Jorge Carleen Pires and David Jorge, both of Tulare, are planning a wedding for June 22. The future bride is the daughter of Adelino and Dina Pires of Tulare. She graduated, from School in Tulare 1998 and is currently a student at Fresno State University. She is an assistant manager at Pac Sun in Tulare. The bridegroom is the son of Antonio and Maria Jorge of Tulare.

He graduated from Tulare Union High School in 1995. 5. He is employed by the State of California. They have known each other since childhood. Karen Mitchell Cunningham Harrell Kara Cunningham and Michael Harrell, both of Taft, are planning a wedding for July 20.

The future bride is the daughter of John and Becky Cunningham of Taft. She plans to graduate from California State University, Bakersfield, this year. She is a senior math tutor at Taft College. The future bridegroom is the son of Stephen and Barbara Harrell of Tulare and the late Marjorie Harrell. He graduated from Tulare Union High School in 1991, received an associate of arts degree from College of the Sequoias in Visalia in 1993, re received a bachelor of arts degree in history and political science from Point Loma Nazarene University, San Diego, in 1995 and is currently a graduate student at Claremont School of Theology.

He is a pastor at Taft United Methodist Church. The couple met in Taft in 1999. Esteves Mendes Bridges Barnes Natalie Bridges and Wade Barnes, both of Bakersfield, are planning a wedding for May 18. The future bride is the daughter of Gary and Patty Bridges of Bakersfield. She graduated from Tulare Union High School.

She is a nurse. The future bridegroom i is the son of John and Charlotte Barnes of Ridgeview and Becky Barnes of Bakersfield. He graduated from Ridgeview High School. He is welder. The couple met in Bakersfield on a blind date..